How do I show I'm all over the place without stitching together a bunch of photos of me all over the place?

Simple. Jump around in a picture with a ton of flashes going off.

For my self portrait I bought a small trampoline and did some practice jumps.

We set up in the studio with one light, and we simply had fun jumping, flashing (not showing inappropriate body parts) the lights, and flickin' open the shutter for a while.

If you want to try out either that kind of shoot, or just play with my lil trampoline, let me know—the trampoline travels well.